There’s this great scene in the movie Jerry Maguire (back in the good ol’ days when Tom Cruise was still good) in which Jerry begs his client, Rod Tidwell (played by Cuba Gooding, Jr.), “Help me help you!!!” Although Rod’s response is a comical, mocking rendition of Jerry’s plea for help, the theory behind “Help me help you!” is a very real and valuable asset in getting the best results possible, whatever your situation.
So here are the first five of my top ten tips on how you can help me, as your family lawyer (in no particular order):
1. The good, the bad and the ugly
You need to tell your lawyer everything. You are seeking professional guidance for a reason. Do not assume you know what does and does not matter to your case. Most importantly, do not let your attorney get blindsided by some negative fact or behavior. It does not matter if it’s embarrassing or you are ashamed of something. It will be much more embarrassing and shameful in open court if your attorney is unprepared to deal with it.
2. Social Media
It still surprises me how much useful information I can locate for my clients’ matters by researching via Facebook and other social media. Reassess your privacy settings. Be vigilant about what you post AND what your friends and family post. Think not just about what you are posting, but what it could be made to look like by someone who wants to twist the post and paint you in a certain way.
3. Keep evidence
Texts, voicemails, social media posts (see above), copies of cancelled checks, journals and many other things are valuable evidence, especially in family law cases. So much of the evidence in family law is testimony, which is almost assumed biased because of the high stakes and raw emotions. The more evidence you can provide your attorney, the better off you’ll be to base your case on more than “he said, she said.”
4. Documentation
Similar to tip #3, create documentation as evidence. I do NOT mean fabricate evidence. What I do mean is create a custody calendar documenting which party had the children at which times. You could go further and add notes about how the kids behaved when they returned to your home or what they said about their visit. Also, keep a binder with copies of all of your financial information. If you are planning to leave a relationship, you may want to copy your financial documents before have the “it’s over” conversation.
5. “Must-haves”
I learned this phrase from a co-worker and it is a great tool. When you meet with your attorney provide a prioritized list of your “must-haves.” What are the most important things for you to obtain from whatever proceedings in which you are involved? For example, you may want to stay in the marital home. You may want to keep an item purchased during the marriage. Maybe it is highly important to you that you have your children on New Year’s Day because of some special tradition. Whatever these things are, think about them, prioritize them and give your lawyer a list. Understand you will most likely not succeed in all of your desired “must-haves,” but your attorney will know where to focus to meet your top goals.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this blog, coming soon.
Abigail Fillman is a 2007 graduate of the Temple University School of Law and specializes in Criminal Defense, Insurance Defense and Family Law at Weber Kracht and Chellew.
This blog is designed for general information only. The information presented should not be construed to be formal legal advice nor the formation of a lawyer/client relationship.
